Beef At Turnpike House - Ravi vs. Dustin on St. Etienne

Dustin: This album is like curling: it's catching on with some people but it's still extremely boring.

Ravi: I like the curling metaphor. You might say that curling is boring, but to me it's strangely hypnotic. Just like curling, a game with limited appeal to the masses, St. Etienne's has a style is that's peripheral to most. They're like the Canadians of curling in whatever musical subgenre they fall into. Each track on this album is like a strategically thrown stone on the bullseye that is the listener's ear. And, it's a concept album about real estate! Buy! Buy! Buy!

Dustin: Well, they do say to buy low. As for the album, it alternates between being a bad Stereolab imitation and a soundtrack for emotional porn for married couples.

Ravi: Buy low. Exactly, with the hope of an appreciation. Look, how many albums have you heard immediately and been like "oh fuck that's awesome!"? If it's more than a handful, then we should be debating your musical taste, and not albums. But to the album, what particular songs do you no likey? Do you not like the beats on tracks 2-3-4?

Dustin: Track 2 is nice safe music for Moby fans. The people who listen to Norah Jones when they fuck can listen to this when they dance. Track 3 could have been the music for that weird sex scene in the second Matrix movie. It's like a watered down version of the new watered down Goldfrapp. Track 4 is aight.
I don't know man, it's hard to find anything I like on here. How about track 6 – that's some cool jazz for wack herbs. How can you rock that without thinking of the lounge singer in Lost In Translation?

Ravi: Name one person you know that listens to Norah Jones when they fuck, and I will concede this entire battle to you.

Dustin: Your mom.

Ravi: Dad?

Dustin: Yeah right. No son of mine would ever listen to this:
"Lets build a zoo and fill it with animals
Let's build a zoo, we'll ride on a camel
With a gnu at the end of the queue (here they come!)
Two by two by two by two"

Ravi: Well, Pop, each song from "Barnyard Brouhaha" onward is St. Etienne's take on English kids songs. They have nothing to do with the album — they were tacked onto the U.S. import version as "Bonus Tracks." Unless you want to take the reading of this concept album as one about moving to a new house and making it a home, and therefore these last songs are to be played when you and mom settle in and have babies.
And Dad, I've been drinking your booze and smoking your cigarettes. But you wouldn't know about that would you. Or care. Go ahead, stay there all day in your office, drinking your haterade. Of course you hate St. Etienne. What, oh, you listen to music for lyrics now? Should I call you Papa Buckley? Yeah? Of course, you'd only focus on lyrics that you would consider immature for your "adult" tastes. I hate you!

Dustin: Son, I’m only teaching you these things for your benefit. Remember the time I told you not to run by the pool holding all those scissors? You were in the hospital for three years after that. Bah, you kids will never listen.