Fear & Loathing in Coachella Pt. 1

Coachella 2006. Total experience:
Jay: A quick look at the back pages of NME around this time reveals a startling and overwhelming amount of music festivals taking place this summer in a number of different countries. Seemingly every country - most notably England - has a major music festival, drawing numerous high-profile acts, DJs, and up-and-coming indie rock groups that, if you got the time and the budget, could fill every weekend from now til Labor Day (do they even have Labor Day in Europe?). Here in the States, our choices are much more limiting. How limiting? Enough to fly 3,000 miles, drive two hours and stay in an ridiculously overpriced motel where their version of a "Bellboy" consists of suspiciously surveying the room hoping no living insects or non-living humans were still in our presence for Coachella, one of the U.S.'s biggest music festivals (held annually in Indio, CA).
But overall, It was definitely worth trooping it out to the desert given a lineup that, while not as good as last year, was enough to keep you running around from stage to stage. The highlight for me was not so much Daft Punk, but more the fact that She Wants Revenge had to go on concurrently and presumably "rocked out" to a crowd consisting of two security guards, a churros vendor and a rabbit.
Dustin: Yeah I thought it was pretty sweet. I could have done without being herded like cattle on the way out Sunday night but otherwise I had no complaints.

The Walkmen:
Dustin: Painful. It was like watching an excruciatingly loud version of The Strokes headed by a bad Bob Dylan impersonator.
Jay: You sound like a contankerous, old hippie. I liked them. Good energy and I think the Dylan thing is what made him unique and set him apart from all the screechers that pass as vocalists in similar bands.

Wolfmother:
Jay: I guess I like them but I can only like them to a certain extent because they're a bit more revivalist than their talent indicates. "Apple Tree" is the best song Jack White never wrote. They were exciting to watch live but the concert was ruined by the wussiest leg kick from a lead singer I have ever seen. Send him some tapes of Freddie Mercury and David Lee Roth - who ironically wrote much more polished and light pop songs - and get back to me.
Dustin: You plagarized that White Stripes line pretty much word for word from RollingStone. Wolfmother could use a few metal lessons, especially with their image, but they offer up some nice riff rock and know how to work the crowd, and actually look like they enjoy playing music.
Jay: I can ASSURE you that I haven't read the RS review and any similarity is PURELY coincidental. Plus, I made the Jack White reference on "Apple Tree" WHILE the song was playing.

Hybrid f. Perry Farrell:
Dustin: We didn't stick around long enough to see Perry come on but from what I heard it sounded like the soundtrack to the newest Mortal Kombat sequel. However, since I was at a music festival, not playing Tekken, this is a bad thing.
Jay: I barely listened to Hybrid but anything involving Perry Farrell at this point I don't really care about because most likely it will involve annoying tribal drums and Burning Man references.

Digable Planets:
Jay: I stayed for two songs. One of them was "Rebirth of Slick." The other was called, I believe, "Not Rebirth Of Slick." They had a live band a la Soulive, which was like watching a classic rock drum solo - hot for five minutes, but then quickly making you suffocate yourself with your neighbor's backpack.
Dustin: I didn't see any of Digable Planets but I could feel them being boring from two stages away.

Common:
Dustin: Speaking of boring, WOW. Why do rappers still think that nobody knows anything about hip-hop? If I hear one more lecture on the elements of hip-hop, I'm going to blow my brains out. 3-6 Mafia won an Oscar. I think the word is out on hip-hop.
Jay: I also note Common introducing us to "The World's Greatest DJ," who proved his title by diggin deep in the crates to shock us with the obscure hip-hop classic "It Takes Two" to the crowd's delight. Someone's been practicin! And Matishyahu rhymed better than Common.

James Blunt:
Jay: Really, what's the point? Why? When I first heard his name, I thought he'd be a cool rapper. But no. We get this insipid Hugh Grant/Damien Rice hybrid. At least do something cool and duet with Maynard instead of strumming your acoustic and telling me how beautiful I am.
Dustin: Seeing who made up the crowd that rushed into the tent to get a good spot for James Blunt was enough for me.

TV on the Radio:
Dustin: They were pretty hot, although some of their stuff sounds better in the studio and comes off a little too noisy live. "Young Liars" is always a highlight.
Jay: And the white guy was "The World's Greatest Beatboxer" like Common's man was "The World's Greatest DJ."

Depeche Mode:
Jay: How do you follow an incredible intro of energetic, uptempo songs? Let's do five mopey ballads in a row, one of which by a guy who dresses like this?

Dustin: Yeah, they definitely let the air out of the balloon with the middle of their set. Plus they didn't do "Policy of Truth." But they did have a sweet stage set-up.

Daft Punk:
Dustin: Remember when everyone ran from Depeche Mode to see Daft Punk, and then when you got there you saw why everyone was running: two guys dressed as robots were standing on a giant LCD pyramid playing the best DJ set ever made in a huge tent full of thousands of people going absolutely insane.
Jay: Yeah, what was even more incredible was how they were able to mix and blend with giant metallic gloves on and hear the music through enormous helmets. I mean, you'd think that it'd be impossible to do that, what with the fact that it's hard to adjust the music with concrete blocks on your hands and all but I guess that's why they're so lauded. Now THAT'S sarcasm! Remember when Kraftwerk was doing the same thing only actually playing music?

Franz Ferdinand:
Jay: Oh boys, your cheekiness is just the living end!
Dustin: I remember my only comment to you was "How can you like this pussy shit?"

Damien Marley:
Dustin: Hey, I'm a white girl in high school dressed in a bikini top, short shorts and knee-high socks, and when I say reggae, I actually mean reggaeton! I thought Damien Marley was pretty hot, although Daddy Yankee would have been way cooler! LOL!
Jay: "Me want to show you me versatility and how good me album is. Ready, rude boys?! Let's do a medley of me father's famous songs for 15 minutes." Man, what a shameless ploy. Some may say...."dread"ful. Hey ohhhhhhhh!