Which is Witch: Ed vs. Dustin on Witch

Dustin: Did you listen to Witch?
Ed: Yeah. How old are they?
Dustin: I think they're new.
Ed: I know, but age-wise. 17?
Dustin: Well, one guy is old because he was in Dinosaur Jr., so I would guess the rest are too.
Ed: REALLY. Damn. When I listened to the first song I thought they were mad young — playing very easy riffs and almost struggling with the soloing.
Dustin: Except when they're being awesome.
Ed: It's just not in me anymore — not this kind of rock at least.
Dustin: I am still awesome so I like it.
Ed: I'm listening to "Seer" right now. How can you be excited about this?
Dustin: Because I like heavy metal solos.
Ed: He just barely scaled. Listen to Metallica or Megadeth. Why settle for less? That's what I'm saying.
Dustin: Maybe I don't want to hear something I've heard 50,000 times. I want something NEW. NEW, get it?
Ed: That's the point. This ISN'T NEW.
Dustin: The songs are new, the style isn't. I don't want a new style. I like the old style, I just want new albums.
Ed: Fair enough.
Dustin: Sure, I'd rather have Megadeth make a new Rust in Peace, but they are old and suck now, just like Tool and the Chillis and Metallica and Audioslave etc... Old = you suck.
Ed: I'd rather suck than like poser shit.
Dustin: Why is it poser? Don't you think these guys realize they're not being original? They're HAVING FUN.
Ed: Old Ozzy and Metallica would kill Witch or The Sword in a fight.
Dustin: This is a side project for some famous rock dude who is just enjoying himself.
Ed: Great, even more poser. Metallica was living in a warehouse. Sabbath was in factory hell. This is a side project for a famous rock dude? Yeah, that's fucking rock n roll.
Dustin: Oh, so you have to be poor to rock? What the fuck does that mean?
Ed: I'm just saying you can hear the difference between good music and shit that is recycled. Hence why the classics will always be classics and the rest will be forgotten in a few months.
Dustin: No shit. Look, if you compare every new record to Stevie Wonder, The Beatles and Led Zepplin, you'll never like anything ever again.
Ed: Except for Gnarls Barkley.
Dustin: You're a pussy.
Ed: Not true. I liked the John Legend album, parts of it.
Dustin: Oh man, that's mad original. He is creating a new genre. He sounds nothing like anyone before him.
Ed: Hey man, like whatever you want. I will do the same.
Dustin: You just contradicted your entire argument. That's all I'm sayin.
Ed: Sometimes we will agree and sometimes we will not.
Dustin: Can we just agree that you contradicted yourself?
Ed: How so?
Dustin: Talking about original this and that and then saying you like John Legend.
Ed: Yeah, there were some really good tunes on the album.
Dustin: But according to your logic, why not just listen to Deangelo?
Ed: What do you mean?
Dustin: You said I can't listen to Witch or The Sword because Metallica did it first. Same thing here. Go listen to Maxwell.
Ed: I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying why would you get so excited when something is clearly not as good or even on the same page as the original? You said you like solos — they barely got through one. Meanwhile Metallica and Megadeth have two guitars going at the same time, soloing forever, up and down, deathly killing you. Witch just seems amatuerish, hence why I asked how old they were.
Dustin: It's not that I love soloing Dream Theatre style shit where I can hear someone invent a new arpeggio. I like the fact that someone actually took a fucking guitar solo. Nobody rocks anymore - think about it. NOBODY. So, when someone tries, when they put out some fun riff rock I can bang my head to, it makes me happy. Sure, I'll be bored of it quickly, but it is fun and makes me happy and I applaud the effort.
Ed: Well that's all that matters then — your happiness. I will only applaud good music for I am a snob.