Witchcraft: Chris vs. Dustin on Wolfmother

Chris: I illegally downloaded this album and listened it to it ONCE. I heard the hype, followed the hype, and proceeded to throw up in my mouth. As far as I am concerned, this is "lad-rock" in the vein of Death From Above 1979, with very little substance but a lot of volume. These guys have packaged themselves as having an edge, but I think Hanson from 10 years ago would take them out in a battle of the bands.

Dustin: I’d like to know what you mean by “lacking substance.” They are a simple band: their goal was to rock, they listened to some Sabbath and Zepplin, wrote an album, and now they rock. Wolfmother does not ponder the effects of globalization on our culture. Wolfmother writes catchy rock tunes with ass-kicking riffs. Is that okay? Is that frigging legal anymore? Am I allowed to go to a concert and have a good fucking time and raise some devil horns in the air and say fuck yeah when I hear a good solo, damn it! What the fuck is with this persecution of anyone who tries to rock? FUCK!

Chris: You can rock all the fuck you want, but if you sound like the band that Robert Plant would have started if he grew up in THE SHIRE (surrounded by hobbits and warlocks and 21-sided dice) then no, you can't rock. You are just listening to prepackaged, recycled rawk from the 70's with a grown-up A&R's pubescent notions of what "rocks" — hence my line about the lack of substance.
Unfortunately, I have a good memory and I can hear their influences. Obviously you can too — you pointed out the Zep and Sabbath tendencies in their music. I guess if I was 15 and had wack older brothers, sisters and parents, and heard this the first time without being exposed to the good stuff, I would shit my pants and stop taking out my sexual energy on my zits and try to go out and get laid — it does rock. But as someone who's been around the musical block, I can't legitimize this as good music.
Is this is what music has become, when even the new bands are dragging out old standards like a senile Sinatra?

Dustin: Well maybe since you listened to the album “ONCE” you can’t tell the difference between a band that simply relies on classic sounds from a band that makes fake bullshit (like The Darkness). Yes, the first time you hear Wolfmother, it’s like, eh, more rehashed music stolen from the golden age. But if you actually listen to the album, you’ll see that they are actually excellent song writers. Instead of relying on one riff, the tracks change and evolve. They’re even better live, extending songs with solos and playing up to the crowd.
Maybe if you gave them a chance you could actually enjoy it but noooooo. We’re all so quick to jump on the hater bandwagon these days if someone doesn’t reinvent the wheel. “Wow, Sufjan plays the english horn AND the oboe on track four!” Who gives a shit?

Chris: Not interested in hearing their "excellent song writing." Not interested in hearing their "extending songs with solos and playing up to the crowd." I'm not in the business of music criticism — I'm in the business of pleasure. I don't friggin care about their musicianship — I want to hear something new. Take what somebody else did well and move on from it — that's when you got me. But if you are just writing and playing what has been known to work in the past, then you are just after my sentimental buck.
Music like this is ALWAYS going to be good. Maybe the laspe between when it becomes cool again will be shorter, due to the Internet. But right now, all it sounds like to me retro-poser-posturing. I have no problem with being 27 and liking the music that I like — I have no need to relive my high school days by pretending that I never heard anything like this before.

Dustin: Music like this is ALWAYS going to be good? Okay, well, you got me there. Yup, can’t argue with that.

Chris: Music like this is always going to be good for people who never heard anything like it before. If you have, its a friggin snore fest.